


TMPD Antics

by Taliya



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble Sequence, Drama, Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 8,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23758297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliya/pseuds/Taliya
Summary: Upon graduating from university, Shinichi, Saguru, Heiji, and Kaito find jobs with the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.  Shinichi and Heiji are in Division One, Homicide; Saguru’s in Division Two, Criminal Affairs; and Kaito’s in Division Three—Theft?  On a side note, KID’s still on the loose.  Rated for language.
Relationships: Hakuba Saguru & Hattori Heiji, Hakuba Saguru & Hattori Heiji & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Hakuba Saguru & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Hakuba Saguru & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Hattori Heiji & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Hattori Heiji & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Comments: 123
Kudos: 212





	1. I: Hakuba and Kuroba

**Author's Note:**

> _Detective Conan_ and _Magic Kaito_ characters, settings, and ideas do not belong to me but to Aoyama Gōshō.
> 
> \---
> 
> Warnings: Language, minor violence
> 
> \---
> 
> Artwork by Pixiv ID: 1903514 was discovered _years_ later, and the artist's Pixiv account has since been deactivated. Boo. But all the same, thank you for the artwork, 1903514!

“What are _you_ doing here?”

He turned at the voice, his congenial grin sliding into an unimpressed glower upon seeing his addresser. “Oh, it’s _you_.”

“Why are you _here_ , Kuroba-kun?” he asked with a hint of suspicion, his eyes lingering on the badge hanging off his coat lapel.

“What, I’m not allowed into the building that I’ll be working in, Hakuba?”

Hakuba Saguru, the newest member of Division Two, Criminal Affairs, gaped. “You—you’re working _here_?!”

Kuroba Kaito crossed his arms over his chest, easily ignoring the stares of their fellow policemen from Saguru’s rather loud exclamation in the hallway. “Yep,” he replied succinctly. He unclipped the badge and flashed it in front of his new coworker’s face. “See?”

His classmate from high school snatched the badge, tilting it in the fluorescent lighting of the hallway as he checked the hologram printed on the identification card in addition to the placement of the internal computer chip and the headshot of, “Kuroba Kaito, Division Three – Theft”.

“You’re working in _theft_?” he asked incredulously as Kaito reclaimed his badge and clipped it back onto his coat.

“Well, I wasn’t allowed to work in Division Two with Nakamori-keibu,” Kaito replied with a pout. “Told me he couldn’t afford to have any KID fans as part of his team.”

Saguru grumbled under his breath, “I wonder why…”

“I’ll be seeing you, Hakuba,” Kaito said with a jaunty wave. “Have to report to Momose-keibu.”

The blond watched the brunet nuisance wander down the hallway to the elevators before he turned on his heel and stalked towards the offices housing Division Two, muttering about, “Standards,” and, “Liars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I think this might become a little stress reliever when some of my other fics get to me. I will write this whenever the mood strikes me, so updates will definitely be sporadic. Takes place after Shinichi’s organization is taken down, and Shinichi has received the antidote. Can anyone seriously _imagine_ Kaito working for the police? I can only imagine the fun to be had! I feel pity for Saguru already. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed 29.07.2015


	2. II: Kudou and Hattori

There was a loud thump, followed by a sharp yelp, then the sound of frantic lungfuls of air being sucked in and out accompanied by boisterous laughter. The other officers of Division One’s Homicide Unit glanced up to watch, but their attention quickly faded.

Once he had recovered from the rather hard but friendly slap in the back, he glared at his assailant. “Hattori,” he panted, clutching his chest, “Are you _trying_ to kill me?”

“Lighten up, Kudou,” came the easy reply with a heavy Kansai accent through chuckles. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Breathing and heart rate back under control, Kudou Shinichi turned to fully face his longtime friend, swiveling in his chair with a grin. “What are you doing here?”

“Applied for an opening here,” Hattori Heiji replied, leaning on Shinichi’s desk. “Arrived in Tokyo this morning. I needed to get away from the old man.”

“Do you have a place to stay?” Shinichi asked, glancing around for extra baggage.

Heiji grinned. “I have a room for the night and plan on looking for a place this afternoon.”

Shinichi huffed and shook his head. “I have plenty of spare rooms, so take your pick until you find a place to call your own.” He blinked as a thought occurred to him. “Hattori, you _have_ told Kazuha-san about your moving to Tokyo, right?”

Despite the dark color of his skin, Heiji paled. “Oh, damn it all,” he swore. “I _knew_ I forgot something!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Explanation of why Heiji’s moved to Tokyo, despite not having the better okonomiyaki, in his humble opinion. And boy will he get an earful when Kazuha finds out! So now that all four are officially “in play” in Tokyo, I can have my fun! Murders, mysteries, and mayhem ahead! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 29.07.2015


	3. III: Hakuba and Kudou

“Damn,” Saguru swore as he coughed. The smoke bomb Kaitou KID had deployed irritated the lungs, leaving the men under Inspector Nakamori’s command hacking violently. “At least it wasn’t knockout gas.”

As the haze cleared, he spotted Kaito amongst the men, a sleeve covering his nose and mouth, though he, too, was coughing like the rest of them.

Saguru made his way to his colleague, roughly snagging his tie and pulling them face to face as he slapped a handcuff around the upheld wrist, securing the other to his own. “I’ve got you, Kaitou KID,” he murmured victoriously.

“Oi oi,” Kaito said with a distinctly annoyed face, “what makes you think I’m KID?”

“We all know KID can blend into any crowd he pleases, don’t we, Kuroba-kun?” Saguru purred. He could taste his victory over his longtime adversary.

“That’s a very flattering description of my skills, London gairi na Tantei-kun!” crooned KID from a support strut along the glass ceiling of the museum, a pane already loosened and open for his easy escape. “I didn’t realize you thought so highly of me. And oh, Meitantei!” greeted KID cheerfully. “Good to see you again!” 

Saguru gaped at the thief in white. “Th-then…” His eyes darted to the man he had cuffed to himself. It was then he noticed the minute differences in physical appearance: the bluer eyes, the more square bone structure, the tamed hair. “Who _are_ you?” he asked, still astonished by the physical similarities between Kaito and his apparent doppelgänger.

“Kudou Shinichi,” the man answered somewhat testily, pinning the blond with a hard stare. “Division One, Homicide.”

The phantom thief withdrew his prize from a pocket and peered through it in the direction of the full moon. He balanced easily on the strut almost a hundred meters overhead while Nakamori and his men desperately tried to figure out how to get up there. With a nearly imperceptible shake of his head, KID sighed and murmured something to himself. “Looks like this one is yours, boys!” he called as he tossed the pendant necklace casually over his shoulder. A small parachute unfolded and lowered the heist target gently to the floor while KID made his escape.

“Think you can release me sometime soon?” Shinichi grumbled snippily, jingling the handcuff chain.

Saguru checked his pockets for the key to his handcuffs, but came up empty. “That _bloody_ son of a…!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ah, the first time Shinichi and Saguru officially meet, and at a KID heist too! At least Kaito had his fun watching Saguru accuse the wrong person and realize it. “London gairi na Tantei-kun” translates to “Detective from London”… I think?—and I took that straight off the Magic Kaito 1412 Character Song ~Magical Pallet~ album. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 29.07.2015


	4. IV: Kuroba and Hattori

Kaito yawned as he shuffled into police headquarters. The cup of coffee in his hand had not yet fully woken him up as he worked his way down the hallway to the elevator lobby.

“That’s some serious bedhead you got there, Kudou,” came a heavily Kansai-accented voice.

Kaito turned to find none other than Hattori Heiji standing next to him with a smirk on his face. He blinked, forgetting that as Kaito, he had not officially met the Osakan. “Ha-Hattori? What are you doing in Tokyo?”

Heiji gave him a very flat look. “Oi oi, Kudou, I’ve been bumming a room in your house for three days now—did you forget already? Ahou…”

The Division Three officer was rather insulted, but it still took a moment to process Heiji’s words. Wait… “Kudou?”

Now Heiji was giving him a really strange stare. “Maybe you need a double shot of espresso instead of just coffee,” he muttered.

“But… I’m not Kudou…” Kaito sputtered, his brain still struggling to wake up properly.

“Okay this isn’t funny anymore, Kudou,” Heiji said with a frown.

Kaito shook his head. “I’m serious, Hattori, I’m not Kudou!” He happened to catch a glance at the clock in the hallway. “Shit, I’m going to be late for my meeting!” And so saying, Kaito dashed away, juggling the coffee cup in an effort not to spill the hot liquid inside. Heiji blinked in consternation at Shinichi’s rapid exit.

“Hattori?”

The Osakan swiveled to find Shinichi shuffling up the hallway from the building entrance, a different cup of coffee in his hand. One double take later and Heiji was staring down the hall where the man he had originally thought was Shinichi had disappeared down. “Who the hell was _that_?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ah, confusion galore, Kaito’s modus operandi, even if inadvertent. I’m operating on the assumption that Kaito as KID knew who Heiji was, and therefore was able to place a name to the face, even if he forgot that as Kaito he has never met Heiji. Also, while “ahou” is used in a more joking manner in Osaka, it is a more serious insult in Tokyo, and vice versa for “baka”. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 30.07.2015


	5. V: Kudou and Kuroba

_Way too much coffee!_ Kaito thought as he sprinted for the toilet. Skidding to a stop in front of a urinal, he undid his fly and sighed in relief. He ignored the newcomer who took the urinal next to him, simply because toilet conversations were always awkward.

“HNG!”

Kaito started violently, head snapping to glance at his neighbor. He nearly jumped out of his skin a second time upon finding a near-perfect reflection staring back at him. Panic dictated that he flee, though he dared not leave the minor protection of the urinal stall—at least, not until he had properly buttoned his pants. Screw emptying his bladder, he could hold it long enough to dash to the next floor. Except he could not get himself to stop now that he had started…

“I’m sorry,” Shinichi said contritely, “I just wasn’t expecting to see my own face outside of a photo or a mirror.”

Kaito chuckled weakly. “Same here,” he replied. He leaned sideways as Shinichi leaned towards him, intent on studying his face. “Oi oi _oi_!” he protested when the other man leaned over the urinal stall wall. _“Toilet?!”_

Shinichi immediately backed up, flushing. “Sorry, but you just look so similar to me it’s eerie.”

Bladder finally relieved, Kaito cleaned up and zipped his fly. Once he was done buckling his belt he turned, only to find his doppelgänger had essentially cornered him in the urinal stall, a contemplative look on his face. “You’re not KID by any chance, are you?” Shinichi asked.

 _Oh my god, Poker Face, Poker Face, Poker Face…!_ Outwardly, Kaito chortled and shook his head. When had he finished his business?! “Sorry to disappoint, but no. Kuroba Kaito, Division Three.”

“Oh,” Shinichi said with some dissatisfaction as he backed up to allow Kaito to leave, the both of them heading to the sinks to wash their hands. “Kudou Shinichi, Division One, Homicide.”

They parted outside the men’s room. “Nice meeting you,” Shinichi called as he strode towards the stairwell.

Kaito blinked. _Why was Kudou on my floor when Homicide is three floors up…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: … I can’t believe I just wrote a toilet scene… But talk about a captive audience and Shinichi’s runaway curiosity! I’m going to run off to a corner to finish my evil cackling fit now. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 30.07.2015


	6. VI: Hattori and Hakuba

It was a conference between Divisions One and Two. The subject of the meeting was an ongoing fraud investigation that had resulted in one murder. Saguru, wanting to gain a little more experience in areas besides Kaitou KID, had been invited into the meeting alongside Inspector Nakamori and Assistant Inspector Hasegawa. Inspector Megure was already in the room, along with Assistant Inspector Satou, Sergeant Takagi, Officer Kudou, and…

“Good _Lord_ ,” Saguru mumbled to himself as he caught sight of the Osakan.

The Division One officers turned to greet the Division Two members who had just stepped into the room.

“Aw, _hell_ ,” grumbled Heiji upon seeing the blond. Shinichi sent his friend a quizzical glance. “The blond ice prick is here.”

Saguru bristled, though he inhaled deeply though his nose, held it for exactly three seconds, then exhaled. “Hattori-kun,” he greeted diplomatically, “Kudou-kun.”

“Hakuba-kun,” Shinichi replied.

“What’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” asked Heiji testily.

Saguru settled himself in a seat primly. “I still have a phantom thief to catch,” he answered, laying out his papers meticulously.

Heiji rolled his eyes while Shinichi grinned. “You’re going to die of old age before you catch KID,” the Osakan remarked in a parting shot as he wandered to his own seat.

 _Deep breaths,_ thought Saguru as he ground his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ah, Saguru and Heiji… don’t they love each other? Took me a little while to figure out a scenario where they would meet, and considering Heiji’s specialty in murders and Saguru’s in psychological profiling, why not have him work a fraud case and bring Heiji in? Division Two is actually supposed to work frauds, but Nakamori’s sort of overrun it with his desire to catch KID. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 30.07.2015


	7. VII: Kuroba and Kudou

Kaito was busy cataloguing items in the museum’s warehouse with the help of one of the archivists. So far everything had been accounted for, despite the fact that the warehouse entrance had been broken into, and yet showed no signs of forcible entry. He mentally sighed; they had worked through twenty-six aisles of priceless artifacts, and still had another thirty-four to go. Over by the entrance, Shinichi wandered about, eying the taped outlines of the two security guards who had been killed by a bludgeon to the head each.

The archivist had just left for a quick restroom break, leaving Kaito alone in the aisle containing the museum’s collection of precious gems and minerals. _Oh, if only it were nighttime with a full moon,_ Kaito mournfully wished. He reached out a hand to inspect a brilliantly red rhodochrosite specimen when he was forcibly yanked backwards with a startled yip.

“Kuroba, I need your help,” Shinichi muttered as Kaito was dragged, stumbling and tripping backwards, to the warehouse entrance.

“Uh, sure,” Kaito replied, finally catching his feet. “Why?”

The detective led him to the outside of the warehouse. “How would you open that door without leaving a trace of how it’s done?” he asked, pointing to the dual electronic and mechanical locking mechanisms.

“What makes you think _I_ would know?” Kaito hazarded with a frown.

Shinichi grinned in a manner reminiscent of Edogawa Conan. “Well you _are_ KID, aren’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: So I think a decent portion of future Kaito and Shinichi interactions will be Shinichi prodding Kaito to admit he is KID. But Shinichi being Shinichi, he won’t try to arrest Kaito when he’s not in “uniform” since it’s not fair play. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 30.07.2015


	8. VIII: Hattori and Kuroba

“You’re not Kudou, are you?”

Kaito looked up from his report on a break-in and turned to find Heiji staring at him with a slight frown and a raised brow. “Uh, no?” he replied, voice rising in question.

Heiji bent forwards, leaning in until his nose was a centimeter away from Kaito’s, who was sitting at his desk in Division Three. “You look so much alike it’s not even funny, Kuroba,” the Osakan muttered. Kaito twitched under the detective’s scrutiny. Heiji straightened, a satisfied grin suddenly on his face. “At least now I can tell you apart.”

“Eh?” was Kaito’s extremely intelligent, if utterly befuddled reply.

“See, Kudou has slightly different colored eyes, a different bone structure to his face, and his hair grows in a different pattern to yours,” Heiji answered.

Kaito could only stare. “Okay…”

“But the most important difference,” Heiji claimed with an air of mischievous self-importance, “is that he is most _definitely_ prettier than you.”

It took several seconds for Kaito to process that statement, but when he did…

 _“EH?!”_ Kaito could only gape inarticulately in horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I get the feeling I’m going to have tons of fun with Heiji and Kaito… jokes and pranks all around, I think, with some obviously exaggerated reactions on Kaito’s end. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 31.07.2015


	9. IX: Kudou and Hakuba

“So you actually signed up for Division Two specifically to catch Kaitou KID, huh?” Saguru looked up from the lunch Baaya had packed for him to find Kudou Shinichi—eye color, bone structure, hair were all different—standing beside him, a tray of the day’s special in his hands. “Mind if I join you?” The blond indicated that the seat was empty and the brunet sat down with his plate of curry rice.

“Indeed. He is a most challenging adversary,” the half-British detective grudgingly admitted, “if not one of the most annoying as well.”

Shinichi laughed. “Don’t I know it! He’s annoyed the piss out of me plenty of times, too.”

Saguru perked up. “When have you tangled with KID? I don’t remember reading your name in any of the reports…”

“The first time we metaphorically crossed blades was the Ekoda Clock Tower heist. I had no idea it was him behind the screen,” Shinichi explained with a chuckle. “The times after… well, let’s just say I was working undercover.”

The detective from London raised a skeptical brow. “Was the case _that_ bad?”

Shinichi nodded. “Yeah, but during that time I encountered KID multiple times.” Saguru blinked and mildly recoiled at the suddenly furious expression on his fellow detective’s face. “That thief _still_ pisses the hell out of me,” he stated with a clenched fist and a vein pulsing in his temple, recalling the time he had groped and nearly kissed Ran—who was now his wife—on the Bell Tree First airship nearly a decade ago.

“Right…” Saguru muttered with a slight grimace, “I’m not even going to ask…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: And ten years later Shinichi’s still hedging around the fact that he was Conan, though at least he had the balls to ‘fess up to Ran. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 02.08.2015


	10. X: Hattori and Kudou

Both of the detectives’ stomachs gurgled appreciatively as the smells from the restaurant’s kitchen drifted to their noses.

“So how are you liking the new place?” asked Shinichi as he sat down at the table for lunch.

“ _Gods_ , I hate unpacking,” moaned Heiji as he sat down opposite his friend in the booth.

Shinichi smiled sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”

Heiji hid himself behind the menu. “All of the boxes arrived from Osaka last night. I practically had nowhere to stretch out to sleep, and I missed breakfast this morning.”

“I heard from Satou-san that this place has some of the best ramen close to HQ,” Shinichi said. “I hope it’s good, because I’m starving. And I apparently have a doppelgänger in the office. Name’s Kuroba Kaito. Division Three. It’s… uncanny how similar we look,” he remarked with a shake of his head.

Heiji grinned, recalling Kaito’s reaction to his last comment. “Yeah, I saw him. Found out his name after poking my head in a few different departments.”

A scream pierced the air, and the two collectively groaned as one.

“Odds of solving this in under an hour?” Shinichi grumbled as they both abandoned their booth and sprinted towards the gathering crowd out in the street.

“Better be done in under an hour, or that murdering bastard’s buying me lunch for the next _week_!” Heiji snarled as they skidded to a halt beside the body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: And Shinichi’s curse strikes again! I keep thinking that besides kendo and detective work—and perhaps Kazuha—the only other thing Heiji lives for is food, hence his irritation over the timing of the murder. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 03.08.2015


	11. XI: Kuroba and Hakuba

Less than an hour before the start of a Kaitou KID heist found Saguru not where the heist was to be held, but rather on a stakeout outside the front door of the Kuroba home. He had received express permission from Inspector Nakamori to be absent from the heist, claiming he had pressing personal business to take care of that could not be helped. He would have much rather been _inside_ the house had Kaito not refused him at the door.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Hakuba?!” Kaito had snapped through a facemask, for he had been feeling a little ill the past few days. “I’m _not_ KID!” Kaito had then proceeded to slam the door in the half-Brit’s face with a grumble.

Saguru had therefore kept the police radio on as he sat in his car, windows down to let in the cool evening breeze as he listened to the usual pre-heist banter between his coworkers and the barked orders from his superior.

Kaito slid a window from the second floor open, leaning out as he yelled, “Go do your job already, you creepy stalker!” before he snapped the window shut once more.

As the time for the heist drew near, Saguru settled in to watch the Kuroba household carefully. There was no _way_ for Kaito to make it to the heist on time if he left now.

A second before the heist time, there was an explosion on the radio, and Saguru snatched it up, listening intently to the coughing of his coworkers, the snarled curses of Nakamori, and the pleased laughter of…

 _“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!”_ The utterly thrilled voice of Kaitou KID came ringing through the radio, and Saguru nearly gave himself whiplash as he spotted Kaito through the downstairs living room window with the television on and watching the heist with avid interest.

 _The bloody hell is going on?!_ Starting the engine, Saguru floored the pedal as he sped off to the heist location in Minato.

\---

Inside the living room, Aoko chuckled as she pulled off the silicone mask molded after Kaito’s face and the voice-changing sickness mask, continuing to watch her husband’s antics on the television. “You owe me big time, Bakaito,” she murmured with a soft grin as Kaitou KID flipped nimbly over her father. “Just please don’t give Otou-san a heart attack…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> Author’s Note: Ah, poor, confused Saguru. I think his brain just imploded. Aoko here knows why Kaito is KID and has obviously accepted that he has a mission to fulfill, hence her willingness to help him in a pinch. I think in his next appearance I need to let Saguru one up someone—he’s always gotten the short end of the stick so far… but he’s just so much fun to mess with! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 04.08.2015


	12. XII: Hakuba and Hattori

Saguru sat in the cafeteria with Shinichi, both avidly discussing their favorite Sherlock Holmes books. Kaito sat off to the side, tuning them out as he ate his ramen.

Heiji stopped for a moment as he stared at the trio at the table, debating whether or not to sit with them. On the one hand, his best friend was there. On the other hand, the ice prick was there. The decision was taken out of his hands when Kaito waved at him and invited him to the sole empty seat at their table.

“Yo,” he greeted everyone in general, receiving similar replies from Shinichi and Kaito. Saguru staunchly remained silent. “Well look who’s rude, Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass,” Heiji remarked snidely as he set his tray down and sat in his seat.

“You interrupted a discussion on Sherlock Holmes,” Saguru said as though it was obvious Heiji was actually the rude one.

“Oi, Kuroba was the one who invited me to join,” he snipped back with a flat glare. “And you could have continued with your conversation. I could have cared less.”

“Well, I suppose that couldn’t be helped,” Saguru sighed, “since both of you are so culturally ignorant you aren’t even worth talking to.”

Heiji, Kaito, and Shinichi stared, and both Kaito and Heiji silently swore vengeance as they sent looks at each other that bloomed into conspiratorial grins. Shinichi dropped his head into a palm with a quiet, low moan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Well, I did say Saguru would get the upper hand the next time he showed up, but I’m not sure he meant to get himself into this situation… So… yeah… And it’s hard thinking up situations that focus on Saguru and Heiji meeting! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 07.08.2015


	13. XIII: Kudou and Hakuba

“You _do_ realize they’re going to pay you back for that, right?”

Saguru blinked at the voice, finding Shinichi striding alongside him down the hall. “Who is going to pay me back for what?” he asked, honestly confused.

Shinichi snorted. “That remark about being culturally ignorant—Hattori at least, maybe Kuroba too?”

The blond barely resisted the urge to groan at Shinichi’s reminder and the subsequent realization. _Kuroba’s definitely going to get me back for that, and if Kudou says, so will Hattori._ “Anything I should know about Hattori-kun’s revenge habits?” Saguru asked warily.

Shinichi thought for a little, pausing at the junction for the hall that branched to the left. “Hope he doesn’t have any embarrassing dirt on you. You can bet he’ll use it.”

Saguru thought back to the Tantei Koushien, where it was proven that his deduction had been wrong. _He’s going to rub it in my face and/or blackmail me, isn’t he?_ Another thought struck him, one that sent a spike of ice down his spine as he blanched. _Oh gods… is he going to team up with Kuroba?!_

His thoughts must have shown on his face because Shinichi gave him a worried look. “Hakuba, are you okay? You just went really white.”

 _If he’s teaming up with Kuroba, I am utterly_ doomed _…_ He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, held it, then exhaled slowly, to Shinichi’s growing consternation.

“Hakuba?”

Saguru gave his fellow detective a weak grin. “Whatever comes, I’m sure I’ll survive.” _Hopefully._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Not exactly the most sporting tag team, but again, I think that any Heiji and Kaito interaction is bound to be amusing as hell. And again, I pity Saguru. Maybe in later chapters I’ll thaw him out a little—he’s sort of hard to write. I hope you enjoyed it.  
> \---
> 
> Completed: 09.08.2015


	14. XIV: Kuroba and Hattori

“Oi, Kuroba.”

Kaito turned, finding Heiji taking swift strides to catch up to him. “What’s up?”

Heiji fell into easy step beside his coworker. “I’m thinking a little payback is due.”

“Oh?” Kaito turned, fully interested in what his fellow conspirator had in mind. “The target is Hakuba, I take it?”

The Osakan grinned toothily. “Who else?”

“Anything specific in mind?” Kaito asked, mind cycling through various pranks. A glint entered his eye and he glanced sideways at his companion.

“I got some dirt,” Heiji murmured, but he frowned. “Not sure that’ll embarrass him though.” Heiji suddenly yelped at the feeling of being pinched on his backside. He scowled at Kaito, growling with a blush, “Oi Kuroba, the hell?”

“Honey,” Kaito purred flirtatiously, waltzing ahead and down the hallway as though he had not just goosed Heiji. That his action had gone unseen was a given—he was Kaitou KID, after all, though there was no proof or Saguru would have had him behind bars long ago—and so all anyone in the hallway saw was a smirking Kaito giving a flustered Heiji over-the-top cow eyes. “That was me getting a little payback of my own, because I am _so_ much prettier than Kudou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Honestly, I knew that Kaito would get Heiji back, but I just wasn’t sure how. Well, this made a U-turn from Kaito’s “let’s plan a prank on Saguru,” to “I need to back at Heiji for the pretty comment.” But Kaito is not one to passively accept getting pranked and we know he already flips girls’ skirts, so… yeah… this wasn’t too far out of the realms of what he would do. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 14.08.2015


	15. XV: Hattori and Kudou

“You look like a tanunki,” Shinichi stated bluntly one morning as Heiji staggered to his desk and faceplanted as he sat, leaving his friend to wince at the thud of his forehead impacting the desk surface. “You okay?” he asked worriedly.

Heiji moaned. “Kazuha invaded,” he mumbled, and his fellow detective snorted.

Shinichi turned the majority of his attention back to the cold case dossier in his hands. “So she finally packed up and left Osaka?” he queried, flipping through the glossy photographs to study one of the marked pieces of evidence.

“She not only barged into my apartment uninvited, but she stole my spare set of keys and kicked me out of my bed last night.” The Osakan grumbled something particularly unflattering under his breath. “I ended up sleeping on the couch since she refused to let me sleep in my own bed, the damn woman.”

“And the reason why she’s here in Tokyo, aside from you?” Shinichi asked, scribbling his observations and conclusions on a notepad, which he would later type up.

“She found a job as a paralegal with Ran-han’s help. She’s planning on applying to law school too.”

Shinichi hummed, his thoughts momentarily diverted by his wife, who was currently applying to law school and following in her mother’s footsteps. “Well, pop the question soon so that she doesn’t have to incapacitate Mayumi-san or Hiromu-san, amongst others, for carting you off.”

Heiji straightened, a flushed circle on his forehead indicating where his cranium and the tabletop had met. Shinichi snickered at the sight. “What do you mean, Mayumi-han and Hiromu-han?” he asked, blinking in tired confusion.

Shinichi closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “Hattori,” he said with overt control of his enunciation, “As one of the few younger bachelors left around here, you cannot possibly be that thick to not realize you have a fan club here.”

“Oi, who you calling stupid?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: So Kazuha has finally followed Heiji to Tokyo. Maybe not quite so much humor in this one, but it helps to set up another idea I have for further down the road. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 19.08.2015


	16. XVI: Hakuba and Kuroba

“What have you done now?” Saguru asked as Kaito grinned. The pair of them was headed out of the building with the aim of catching the bus that would take them back to Ekoda.

“What makes you think I did anything?” Kaito asked, mock-affronted. “I’m not allowed to smile?”

Saguru slanted him a look. “That particular smile has me itching to cuff you because you look as though you managed to not only steal the gem but hogtie your snipers.”

Kaito sighed in exasperation. “I’ve told you already and I’ll tell you again, I’m not KI—ooh, ice cream!”

The British detective watched as his longtime frenemy skipped to the ice cream stand, purchasing himself a cone with two scoops of chocolate fudge ice cream despite the fact that it was fall and rather chilly. Saguru himself was wrapped in a Chesterfield coat, while Kaito had on a short double-breasted pea coat and a flat cap. He wondered how it was possible that someone like Kaito, who masqueraded during some nights as Kaitou KID, could possess such boundless, child-like energy on such little sleep. Inwardly, he smiled in contentment. Ever since he had first met Kaito all those years ago in high school, his life had changed. His life previous to meeting Kaito had not exactly been—boring, per se, but it had certainly livened up considerably with the magician’s inclusion. And despite the fact that they were undeclared enemies and rivals, Saguru had come to acknowledge Kaito as a friend as well—

—though all thoughts of friendship vaporized faster than dry ice in a bonfire as Kaito stuffed several ice cubes down the back of his shirt and fled, cackling while still balancing the two scoops of chocolate fudge ice cream in its cone.

 _“KUROBA!”_ he bellowed, hopping about as he unbuttoned his coat in order to untuck his shirt and leaning backwards to allow the cubes of ice to fall to the ground, propriety forgotten in his haste to get rid of the sources of discomfort.

Kaito laughed once more, fleeing as Saguru gave chase. “You were smiling!” the magician called back while keeping out of grabbing distance from the irate detective. “I had to snap you out of it else the world might end!”

“Why I even bother…” growled Saguru under his breath, though in the quiet recesses of his mind, he laughed with child-like glee as their usual “game” of tag commenced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Not as funny as it maybe should, but hey, I did list this fic under the “friendship” category as well. This, of course, has nothing to do with Kaito and Heiji’s planned revenge on Saguru; more like Kaito just being… Kaito. And I figured out how to thaw out Saguru! … Sort of… I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 21.08.2015


	17. XVII: Kuroba and Kudou

Shinichi panted heavily as he pursued the culprit through the dimly lit streets. The man he was chasing had been, unfortunately for him, on his high school cross-country team back in the day. Even thirteen years later, the man was still damn fast. Already he had been tailing the man for a good two kilometers through the streets of Shinagawa, and his legs burned and his lungs ached. Heiji had long since lost them, used to shorter but faster sprints from his own training in kendo. Shinichi, with his love of all things soccer, had much more endurance.

 _“Where are you now, Kudou-kun?”_ Inspector Megure’s voice asked over speakerphone, the mobile device clenched in one hand, slick with sweat.

“Just passed—Four Choume—due southwest,” he wheezed. He felt the muscles in his legs clench in warning. He had roughly two minutes to catch his man before near-debilitating cramps would set in. “Damn it all!” he swore as he pushed his body forwards. _I just need to catch him!_

A flash of white caught his eye and he blinked as _Kaitou KID_ of all people physically landed in a crouch on top of the man’s shoulders, utilizing Newton’s Third Law of Motion to bounce nimbly off as the murderer skidded face down onto the pavement. The phantom thief executed a neat midair flip followed by a back handspring to land in a graceful crouch, attention focused solely on the no-longer fleeing man as his white cape fluttered around him. He stood and approached Shinichi’s culprit with an easy gait that spoke of calm self-assurance, clicking his tongue at the man.

“You know, murderer-san,” he said conversationally as Shinichi finally caught up to the pair, propping himself on his knees and sucking in great breaths of air as he kept an eye on the two, “It’s not nice to kill people.” Shinichi could not help but snort at the utter simplicity of the thief’s statement, and the noise in particular caught the magician’s attention. “Meitantei!” he greeted cheerily. He hopped back suddenly as the man made an effort to sweep the thief’s legs out from under him before picking himself up off the ground and running once more. “Rude!” KID snapped, giving chase, “That was mean!”

Shinichi swore as both criminals disappeared down the street, his legs having finally knotted too tightly for him to pursue any longer. When he finally made it home sometime in the early morning, Shinichi blinked upon finding the murderer trussed up in rope with a Kaitou KID caricature note pinned to his chest, drooling against his front door. The detective laughed and shook his head. _Seriously, Kuroba?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Figured Kaito would, as KID, help out the police every now and then, especially if it looked as though the culprit might get away with it. This doesn’t necessarily reinforce in Shinichi’s mind that Kaito is KID since KID said or did nothing to implicate Kaito’s civilian persona, but it does cement the fact that Shinichi probably won’t ever actually turn KID in. Had fun writing this! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 23.08.2015


	18. XVIII: Hattori and Hakuba

“Why are you here?”

Heiji turned to find Saguru scowling at him. “What, I’m not allowed to be at a KID heist?” Shinichi had already disappeared somewhere within the building.

“You’re not part of Division Two,” the half-British detective retorted, “and are therefore unauthorized personnel.”

The Osakan frowned. “I don’t see you snapping at Kudou,” was his rejoinder.

Saguru sniffed. “If he were here, I would, but I’d almost wager he’s currently being scolded by Nakamori.”

“And yet he’s always been the closest to catching that thief, you included.” Heiji smirked. “Bet that stings.”

The half-Briton harrumphed. “I’ve gotten rather close myself. Plus,” he added, “I know who his civilian identity is. I just don’t have the proof to arrest him.”

Heiji snickered. “And at this rate, you’re never going to get your evidence.”

“Like you could do any better,” Saguru snipped.

“Don’t know, haven’t actually personally tried,” he said, thinking of KID’s Fabergé Egg heist. He had been only helping out Kudou at that time, having had no personal stake in the whole affair. “But I’m sure that if I tried, I’d get him before you do,” he needled.

So engrossed in their argument were the two that they easily succumbed to the invisible sleeping gas that the phantom thief had employed. Even the time-obsessed Saguru had apparently forgotten the time.

Kaitou KID dropped soundlessly from a duct in the ceiling, gas mask in place, and shook his head. “You two _really_ need to get along better if you want to get anything productive accomplished,” he murmured with a grin as he began to pick the lock on the display case containing his target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: So it’s still really difficult to create situations in which Saguru and Heiji meet. This one had me stumped for a time. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 31.08.2015


	19. XIX: Kudou and Hattori

“I’m _so_ glad today’s over,” Heiji sighed.

“I know what you mean,” Shinichi said as they exited police headquarters. “We’ve been running around nonstop.” He eyed the Osakan curiously. “You’ve been tense all day, Hattori. What’s up?”

Heiji tittered nervously as the pair of them walked down the sidewalk towards Sakuradamon Station. “I’ve just got a nice dinner planned with Kazuha, that’s all,” he muttered, glancing away.

Shinichi knew an evasion when he saw one. “Oh, come on now, spill the beans!” He had an idea of what Heiji was planning to do, but wanted confirmation from the man himself.

The Osaka native threw his friend a scowl. “Kudou,” he growled, “Are you always this nosy?”

“Can you blame me?” Shinichi tossed back with a smirk. “I am a detective after all.”

“Ha ha,” Heiji stated blandly. 

“So?” Shinichi pressed. They had just stepped foot inside the station entrance to purchase their tickets when there was a scream.

“Ah, _fuck_ ,” swore Heiji, spinning on his heel and tearing down the street, Shinichi at his side. “I’m going to be late for dinner, and I was going to propose to Kazuha tonight too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Ah, why is it that Heiji’s always around when Shinichi’s curse strikes? Poor both of them, but also poor-but-soon-to-be-spitting-mad-because-Heiji-is-late Kazuha. I’m so mean to them. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 25.08.2015


	20. XX: Hakuba and Kudou

“So you think Kuroba is Kaitou KID, huh?”

Saguru looked up from a report regarding a charity organization that was currently undergoing extensive fraud investigations for embezzling the money donated to the charity to find Shinichi standing by his desk, hands in his pockets. “Yes,” he answered slowly, wondering what the homicide detective was doing on his floor.

Shinichi grinned. “Let’s go grab lunch. I’d like to hear your theories.”

The half-Briton blinked before he chuckled and agreed. He stowed his papers neatly on his desk and logged out of his computer. “Where to?” he queried, rising from his chair after detaching his phone from the charging cable.

“I was thinking Luxiere’s. They have good sandwiches and pastries,” Shinichi said as he fell in step with his fellow Sherlock Holmes fan and they stepped out of police headquarters. They enjoyed lunch, discussing Saguru’s theories regarding why Kuroba Kaito was Kaitou KID—Shinichi neither confirmed nor denied any of Saguru’s ideas—and in general let his fellow detective rant about the prankster policeman. After Saguru had finished his diatribe, the two went on to discuss the original Sherlock Holmes series along with its various adaptations into movies and television. They even ventured into the realm of published spinoffs, spoofs, and fanfiction.

It was on the way back to police headquarters when a scream split the air. Shinichi groaned as he spun on his heel and ran, Saguru a step behind him. “You know,” Saguru panted as he dodged pedestrians behind the homicide detective, “I’d heard—the rumors—about you—being a—Shinigami—but this—is ridiculous.”

“Welcome to my life,” Shinichi grumbled as he slid to a halt before a cluster of onlookers, pulling out his badge and shouldering through the throng of people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Back from a much-needed vacation, and now to get my brain back on track. Saguru’s witnessed Shinichi’s curse for the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last either. At least they got to finish eating lunch, unlike Heiji. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 09.09.2015


	21. XXI: Kuroba and Kudou

Kaito powdered the display, dusting for prints. As of late there had been a string of thefts in the Tokyo metropolis, all focused on obtaining the daisho of famous samurai that were housed in historical museums. Kaito had to admit that whoever was pulling off the thefts was _good_ , since he or she had yet to be caught—though maybe not as good as himself, since frankly the unknown sword robber had no section of the police dedicated to catching them, nor did the burglar turn their thefts into flashy, crowd-entertaining shows. Kaito sighed. Whoever this person was, they sorely lacked _showmanship_.

“You look a little bored, Kuroba,” commented an amused voice, and the Division Three policeman turned to find Shinichi standing behind him with a lazy grin on his face.

“Kudou,” he greeted, standing up and twisting to face him. “What brings you to the Edo-Tokyo Museum?”

The homicide detective shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood and heard about the thefts. Any idea what the next target is?”

Kaito glanced around. While the thief had indeed hit some museums multiple times, he or she would only take one sword set each time. His eyes landed on one particular daishou. “I’d guess that one would be next,” he remarked, pointing at the display.

The two detectives approached, Shinichi reading the name of the items. “Hitokiri Battousai no Daishou?”

Kaito nodded. “He might not have been samurai, but he certainly was the most famous assassin of the Bakumatsu.”

“So have any steps been taken to prevent it from being stolen?” Shinichi asked.

A mischievous grin stretched across Kaito’s lips. “I’ve already gotten permission from Momose-keibu,” he replied.

Shinichi mirrored Kaito’s grin and asked, “Could I join in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue should Kaito and Shinichi team up, though it would be nothing compared to KID and Shinichi teaming up. Still, the possibilities are practically endless… And if you don’t know who Hitokiri Battousai is, I strongly suggest you plant your bum in front of a screen and watch _Rurouni Kenshin_. Right. Now. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 10.09.2015


	22. XXII: Hattori and Hakuba

“Where’s Kudou-kun?” an English-tinted accent demanded.

“Out on a case,” Heiji answered, not looking up from the files in his hands.

“Damn,” Saguru swore. There was a moment of quiet in which the half-Briton considered his options. Eventually he made a decision and grabbed the Osakan’s upper arm, yanking him out of his chair. “Come with me,” he ordered brusquely, ignoring Heiji’s snarl of protest as the folder and its contents spilled onto the surface of his desk in disarray. His next statement, however, promptly shut down the other detective’s objections. “There’s been a murder.”

Catching his feet under him, Heiji walked beside Saguru, who had let go once the homicide detective had gained his balance. “But you aren’t in homicide.”

Saguru frowned as he led his coworker towards Division Two’s offices to grab his keys. “The fraud case I was working on just sprouted a dead body.”

“Where are we going?” Heiji asked once they were headed for the parking garage.

“Chuo. The victim was discovered by a waitress on the way to her shift,” Saguru said as he slapped a magnetic red siren on the roof of his car. The pair left, the Division Two officer giving the Division One officer a rundown of the case. They reached the crime site in barely a few minutes, having been able to bypass a lot of the traffic with the siren. “There was a knife protruding from the victim’s back at 15:25:05.64 this afternoon when the police discovered the body.”

“Anal-retentive of the time much?” Heiji muttered, though loud enough for the other to hear.

“Hattori…” Saguru growled.

“Save it for later, Hakuba,” Heiji snapped quietly, a steely glint in his eyes, “I’ve got a murderer to find.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: So a little more serious, but maybe they unconsciously took Kaito’s advice at the last KID heist? At least they’re both professional enough to put aside their differences when there’s a body. Maybe there’s hope for the pair of them after all. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 14.09.2015


	23. XXIII: Kuroba and Hattori

_From: Kuroba Kaito_

_To: Hattori Heiji_

_Subject: Prank on Hakuba_

HH-

So I have an idea, and I think you’ll really like this because it’ll TOTALLY freak him out… (((o(*^▽^*)o)))

Admittedly, I wanted to put “revenge” somewhere in the subject heading but realized I’d probably get flagged by you nut jobs in Homicide. .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

So “prank” it is!

-KK

_\---_

_From: Hattori Heiji_

_To: Kuroba Kaito_

_Subject: RE: Prank on Hakuba_

Oh really? Do tell…

And when have I ever been considered a “nut job”, Kuroba?!

HH

_\---_

_From: Kuroba Kaito_

_To: Hattori Heiji_

_Subject: RE: Prank on Hakuba_

Don’t get your knickers in a twist…

m (_ _;; m

Oh GOD I’m even starting to sound like that twit. I’ve hung around him for too long. （/｡＼)

Anyhow, want to meet over lunch today to discuss?

-KK

_\---_

_From: Hattori Heiji_

_To: Kuroba Kaito_

_Subject: RE: Prank on Hakuba_

Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Ψ(｀▽´)Ψ

HH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I’ve finally figured out the prank. I’m excited. Really, though my punctuation would not indicate so. And looking for those emojis was fun. Now I need to figure out how to stick all three of them in one scene together… I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 16.09.2015


	24. XXIV: Hakuba and Kuroba

The combination fraud and theft case meant both Divisions Two and Three had teamed up. The police were up against a small but well-organized group of three men and two women. Their investigation had tailed and corralled them into a metaphorical corner, and now the five criminals were surrounded in a rare single-family suburban home in Haido, holding the stay-at-home mother and her three-year-old son hostage.

“Ideas?” Saguru whispered to Kaito, whom the half-Briton had purposely partnered up with for this case.

“I have one,” Kaito replied, walking swiftly towards Inspectors Momose and Nakamori. Saguru followed, not intending to let Kaito out of his sight. After a brief but heated discussion, the two inspectors reluctantly agreed to go through with Kaito’s plan, one that had been unwillingly modified with Saguru’s input.

So now the two friends from high school sat, unarmed and bound at the wrists and ankles as replacement hostages for the mother and child with several firearms trained at them.

“Now what?” Saguru hissed. He knew Kaito better than anyone—maybe save Aoko—and knew the magician had multiple methods of escaping. In fact, he was banking on that ability now.

“Now,” Kaito quietly announced with a soft lilt in his voice, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and a devilish grin on his lips, “It’s go time!”

And maybe not for the first time in his life—not that he would ever admit that, even under pain of torture—Saguru looked forward to seeing what sort of havoc his friend could wreck. He pitied the poor sods—they would not know what hit them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Bonding moment! Saguru’s got Kaito’s back, and Kaito knows it too. Yeah, I do sort of feel sorry for the criminals in this case. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 18.09.2015


	25. XXV: Kudou and Kuroba

There was a small crowd outside the entrance to headquarters. Kaito and Shinichi, both of whom had decided to visit the same coffee shop for breakfast, approached to see what the fuss was about.

“Kuroba-kun!” one of the officers cried, spotting the Division Three policeman. Kaito was promptly dragged unceremoniously into the midst of the press of bodies while Shinichi was forced to fight his way to the center. Kaito stared at the topic of the hubbub: a trio of men, all unconscious and all hamstringed in sturdy rope with a burlap sack tied securely to the man in the middle. They were all drooling, and the one on the left had a note pinned to his chest that read:

_Officer Kuroba,_

_They had just finished robbing a jewelry store  
while I was passing by and I could not resist  
giving our upstanding law enforcers a hand or  
two. Besides, we phantom thieves tend to be  
rather territorial._

_Sometimes a good Samaritan,_

_-Kaitou KID_

_P.S. Not that I’m complaining, but I feel like  
I’m missing a few black and white projectiles  
that need dodging at my shows. All that  
exercise helps keeps me trim, you know…_

“Wah! KID caught jewelry thieves for me!” KID’s biggest fan sang giddily after reading the note.

“Has Nakamori-keibu been informed?” someone asked.

“What does he mean, ‘black and white projectiles’?” someone else inquired.

Shinichi finally broke through the front line and skimmed the message before he stifled his laugher with a snort. _Barou,_ he thought, watching as Kaito and a few others brought the men inside for questioning. _You caught these men for yourself to allay suspicions about you being KID, didn’t you Kuroba? And you even mentioned you knew I was Conan too._ He chuckled as he stepped inside and made his way to his office. _I’ll be sure to bring a few soccer balls to your next heist to give you some exercise and all. I wonder how Hakuba’s going to react…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I so do love writing scenes with Kaito and Shinichi. And this was written in answer to Shana-Fujioka and Loner Kid’s question regarding whether Kaito knew Shinichi was Conan or not. Figured it was a good way to let Shinichi know KID knew without giving away Kaito. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 20.09.2015


	26. XXVI: Hattori and Kudou

Heiji grinned as he stood from his desk and stretched. Shinichi, who sat in the desk next to him, glanced up inquiringly at his partner. “Nothing pressing, Kudou,” Heiji reassured. “I just need to go speak to Kuroba about something.”

“It’s not about getting back at Hakuba with Kuroba, is it?” asked Shinichi, now refocused on the case file in his hands.

Heiji chuckled. “Nothing ever gets past you, na Kudou?” he shot over his shoulder as he headed for the central hallway.

“If anything did, I wouldn’t be better than you,” Shinichi shot back with a smirk, and Heiji froze.

Twisting, the Osakan smirked at his friend. “Is that a challenge?” he asked, and Shinichi’s grin widened.

“And if it was?” he queried archly.

“If it was,” Hattori said quietly with a thrum of eager confidence coloring his voice, “we’ll need another faceoff.” Excitement brightened his expression. “Nishi no Meitantei versus Higashi no Meitantei,” he announced with obvious relish. “I look forward to kicking your ass, Kudou.”

Shinichi scoffed. “You’re certainly welcome to try, Hattori.”

In the background Satou and Takagi watched the two longtime friends peacocking with fond, if exasperated, gazes. All four officers, however, snapped to attention when Inspector Megure bellowed for them to hop in a car and hightail it to a murder site.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Showdown! Well, there will be one, but I probably won’t write about it simply because that would be much longer than a simple drabble. That and I’m not particularly good at writing out murder scenarios with the solved rationale behind it. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 22.09.2015


	27. XXVII: Kuroba and Hakuba

Saguru had been on his way to lunch when he saw Kaito running on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street, clearly in pursuit of a man who was weaving and shoving pedestrians out of his way. His friend’s partner, a short, stocky man by the name of Ogata Matsuda, had long since fallen behind, it seemed, since Saguru saw neither hide nor hair of him. Spinning on the ball of his foot, he sprinted down his side of the street, keeping an eye on the thief Kaito was chasing even as he dodged the lunch crowd.

The man, loaded down with a small backpack, swerved to the right and into a slow but moving lane of traffic. Cars slammed on their brakes and swerved to miss him as he ran, and Kaito nimbly hopped and flipped over the vehicles, eyes glued to his culprit. Saguru grinned as the thief crossed the street, now on his side. Lucky for him, the robber had not realized that Saguru had joined the chase else he would have turned the other way. As it was, the thief ran towards him and Saguru snatched an umbrella from a stand just outside one of the many shops that dotted the street. As the thief neared, Saguru utilized the arm strength he needed to play polo and swung the sunshade with more than enough force to trip the man, if not bruise the man’s tibias. The flimsy metal shaft of the umbrella snapped under the force of his swing, and he made a mental note to pay the shop for the broken parasol.

The thief went down face-first onto the pavement, and while Saguru held him down, Kaito finally caught up and quickly snapped handcuffs around the man’s wrists.

“Thanks, Hakuba,” Kaito panted. Pulling out his radio, he informed his partner that the culprit had been apprehended, and if he would please send a vehicle to pick them up?

“You’re welcome, Kuroba-kun,” Saguru replied. A thought occurred to him and he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Kaito inquired, having now dragged the handcuffed man to his feet but kept a firm grip on the cuff chain.

“A thief masquerading as a policeman chasing a thief,” Saguru explained through chuckles. He was not sure exactly _why_ the idea was so amusing, but…

Kaito grinned sagely. “Ah. Well, I did hear from somewhere that phantom thieves had a tendency to be rather territorial.” He punctuated this statement with a wink, and Saguru snorted as Ogata pulled up in a police vehicle. “But that still doesn’t mean I’m KID.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Another nice little bonding scene with Kaito and Saguru. These make me happy when I write them, because one: Saguru is sort of hard to write, two: I’m getting him to thaw out—which is great!, and three: they really do make good friends. I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 23.09.2015


	28. XVIII: Hakuba and Hattori

“Hakuba?” tentatively asked Kaito’s voice. The blond hummed to show that Kaito had his attention, despite the fact that he had not glanced up from the documents in his hands. It did register that the Division Three officer’s voice was trembling slightly, to which Saguru frowned slightly. “I kind of need your help…”

“What is it, Kuro…” Saguru’s voice trailed off when he looked up and found Heiji standing where he expected Kaito. He swiftly glanced around, thinking that Kaito was somewhere nearby employing KID’s infamous ability of ventriloquism. “Why are you here, Hattori-kun?” he asked in a marginally more hostile tone.

“Seriously, it’s me, Hakuba,” Heiji answered in Kaito’s voice. His expression was one of barely contained panic and desperation. “I somehow woke up like this,” he whispered quietly.

Saguru studied the apparently not-Osakan for a moment before he snatched his phone off the cradle and dialed Shinichi’s extension. When the recipient picked up, he immediately, if rudely, asked, “Kudou-kun, is Kuroba-kun there?”

“Yes, but he’s claiming he’s Hattori—and he’s speaking like him too,” answered Shinichi, who sounded exasperated.

“I have Hattori-kun here speaking like Kuroba-kun,” Saguru stated, and he heard a thump and a curse from Shinichi.

“Put them both on speaker,” Shinichi demanded, and the Division Two officer pressed the speakerphone button.

“Oi Hattori, the hell did you do?!” snapped Kaito, who was apparently standing beside Saguru in Heiji’s body.

“What did I do?! You’re the crazy KID fan who knows magic! So what the hell did you do?!” Heiji in Kaito’s body hissed from the Division One Homicide Unit offices. Saguru froze, for that was assuredly Kaito’s voice. Division One was four floors up, which mean there was no way for Kaito to cover for Heiji’s voice.

Kaito growled. “I didn’t do anything! I might know a bit of magic, but nothing that could produce a result like this!” Saguru closed his eyes, listening to both Heiji’s and Kaito’s voices simultaneously overlap each other even as he wondered how Kaito managed to do that on the fly and from four floors up.

“Let’s meet in the cafeteria and figure something out. Sound good?” he said, forcefully inserting himself in the argument Kaito and Heiji were having. There were three voices of irritated agreement before he hung up, rubbing his temples as he counted deep, slow breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: … So I totally confused myself writing this too. Took me a little bit to get the people and the voices straightened out, even though it was only Heiji and Kaito. But it was great fun! Hopefully Saguru doesn’t drive himself spare trying to figure out the trick. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 23.09.2015


End file.
